Fat Sandwich – a fat waste of cash

The only thing that Fat Sandwich Company really has working in its favor is its unbelievable intrigue. Clearly, I just had to go. I had to see what the fuss was all about.

Unfortunately, Fat Sandwich did not deliver.

From the second I walked in the door, I just knew I would hate it. The speaker placed right next to the door blared music in my face the second I opened it.

I walked through to find a completely overwhelming menu of 20+ “fat sandwiches.” After realizing that I would never know what I liked on my fat sandwich until I tried something, I decided to choose the “Fat Sconnie,” in honor of “The Sconz.” This sandwich contained chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, marinara sauce and to my surprise, French fries, which all came wrapped in a large roll to soak up all the saucy… well… It wasn’t good.

I won’t even go into the sadness that overcomes me when I think about establishments like this one (and the idea it promotes) and the amount of obesity plaguing our nation.

The sandwich was really dry, which I blame on all the carbohydrate- bread, potato, breading.. can’t be good for ya. On top of that, the French fries were stale and limp, the marinara had no flavor and the bread fell apart because the pieces within the sandwich were too big to bite into.

The sandwich cost me a whopping $7 and with a drink, my total came to over $8. Granted, the sandwich was huge, but the quality was poor and I wish I could have my $7 back.

While the food wasn’t stellar, the Fat Sandwich did deliver a certain sense of humor. The menu was tailored to college life, offering creations such as the “Fat Magnum” and “Fat Sorostitute” (sorry ladies). They also made the effort to play to internationalize their sandwich selection by offering the “Fat Gyro” and “Fat Falafel.” In addition, there’s a BYO (build your own) option and other standard choices: burgers, salads and wraps, though this is clearly not the appeal of eating at Fat Sandwich.

The staff was friendly and there were rolls of paper towels conveniently placed on each table (and you need them, trust me).

Fat Sandwich offers a few conveniences such as cigarillos and cigarettes. They also have long hours (11am-3am) and have delivery and online ordering options.

An important convenience they lack, however, is Wi-fi. I asked the employees if I could get Internet and I was told that if I sat at one corner of the restaurant, I could “steal” Wi-fi from the University Inn because it wasn’t a secured network. It did work, but they should consider getting their own so that the entire restaurant can enjoy this service.

At lunch on a Monday, there were about 8-10 people in and out, including myself. This was an unfortunate, but understandable crowd. I could only justify coming here again if I was so drunk that Taco Bell was no longer appealing. Even then, $9 for a drunken snack hardly seems worth it, although I might have to remember the “burger donut” for my next drunken escapade. Truly, $9 wasn’t worth it for lunch either when the “$5 footlong” is just a block away.

Sadly, Fat Sandwich just did not hit the spot. My prediction is that Fat Sandwich’s unique appeal will subside and that its fat presence on State St. will be gone very soon.

555 State Street
Madison, Wisconsin 53703
(608) 819-8119

Have a restaurant suggestion that you’d like to see reviewed here on The Sconz? E-mail jechapman@wisc.edu

Groups look to re-open Cafe Montmartre

Cafe Monmartre, a bar and restaurant I once described as “much better than Wando’s,” may be back in action soon. One of the people rumored to be organizing a team of investors told me not to spread speculation on future ownership, so I will not mention names. Has the press also followed this request, or is it just totally out of the loop? It’s a story I’ve heard from several sources, including from a member of the city council.

Questions that interest me – how much would a purchase cost? Are the current owners going to absorb a loss on the sale, and was profitability the main issue in the decision to close the bar? What will the new owners do to make the place profitable? I’ve heard talk about decreasing the emphasis on the “restaurant.” The vast majority of patrons were there to get a drink and listen to music but the place nevertheless boasted a gourmet menu, which may have been a drag on profits. Unfortunately these are questions that have not appeared in the press yet.

Granted, bars and restaurants come and go all the time. But I would much prefer to see reports on those little slices of social drama than the endless reports of crime that plaster the front pages of the State Journal and Cap Times. The front page of Madison.com (the joint site of the Journal and the Times) has featured the mug of some guy who committed a murder 20 years ago for what feels like an eternity, and I have yet to bother clicking on the story. OK, now I finally did so I could show it to you, dear reader who loves crime stories because you see it as a manifestation of Shakespearean drama in the 21st century.