David Blaska and I have something in common: we both think sagging pants is super-lame. However, until recently I considered it strictly a fashion crime, and I was pretty sure that if I did encounter a particularly bad offender, I would probably only call MPD’s non-emergency line. Yes, it occasionally kept me awake at night, but, like so many other problems in the world, I accepted that it would never change.
Blaska’s got the $1 million answer: outlaw it.
Excuse me, but no matter what the liberal media wants you to believe, underwear is NOT funny and it is certainly not sexy. Thank God we have a local advocate who understands this. That is why he has listed it as item number 11 on his 14 point “ACTION LIST” to improve neighborhood safety.
Action list Item #11: Enact and enforce ordinances prohibiting display of underwear or other obscene gestures, profane language heard beyond three feet; enforce jaywalking, excessive noise and other ordinances.?
I was impressed the first time he brought up the panties problem. However, perhaps out of cynicism, I assumed that, like most noble activists, Blaska would eventually be pushed into discussing more conventional theories on crime – education, poverty, discrimination, drug addiction, alcoholism, and our prison system. Clearly I underestimated the man. Not only did he persevere with the issue of visible boxers with a second post on the matter, but he managed to avoid discussing any of that bullshit liberal apologism. OK, he mentioned education in the preamble to his list but then said that they were meaningless until respect, order and discipline are restored – translation: until you pull your pants up and stop getting your hair cut by a gay barber there is no way in hell those sons of bitches will learn a goddamn thing. Conveniently, Blaska also opines on parenting:
If kids are screwed up it is usually because they don’t have fathers in their ear. They don’t need someone to listen to their blather as much as they need someone to be listening to. Defining limits and expanding horizons.
Once upon a time I actually believed Blaska to be an extremely unintelligent, deranged man. A delightful mixture of Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. But after going to the store, buying a pair of suspenders and pulling my pants up as high as they could go (the nipple), I realized that not only should this man be elected mayor of Madison, but he should be appointed as dictator so that he can truly implement his philosophy on parenting on the whiny council and the unappreciative citizens.